Cheer Up Charlie: Christmas Adjacent Films for Happy Tears During Covid Tiers
Article Written by Mia Foale, Head Writer
This year has been unlike any other, and this Christmas has shaped up to be understated at best, probably unfortunate, and, obviously, unprecedented. Whether your Christmas decorations were up in mid-November to inject some Christmas cheer into a flat you've exclusively seen the inside of since March, or if you're frantically putting them up last minute because you now need to brighten your flat in its new location of "Tier Four", the chances are your Christmas is looking a little bit different. Most likely, you're probably having some mixed feelings towards this festive season. If you haven't been watching the Holiday on repeat since Halloween, and you're feeling slightly more Krampus than Cratchit, then may I suggest these feel-good festive-adjacent films? Guaranteed to get you into the spirit, and potentially all the more enjoyable whilst consuming spirits. Just like a family Christmas.
Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Okay, maybe it's here because it was the theme for RTE's Late Late Toyshow, an event undoubtedly as Christmassy as Three Kings singing Silent Night under mistletoe whilst eating mince pies. Maybe it's because it's a film about chocolate, family and a slightly magical man making children's dreams come true, all loosely associated with Christmas. Or maybe it's Jean Wilder tap dancing in a purple velvet dress coat and a giant gold bow tie. His Quality Street inspired suit is enough to make anyone reach for the selection box, but his sarcasm and blatant savagery towards spoilt children undercuts any potential for a Christmas soppiness overload, whilst the slightly brutal consequences for Mike TV and gang can be read as an prescient anti-Capitalist message for our turbulent times. Watch this and be inspired to wear purple velvet and shop local, as long as both are independent.
Die Hard
They say that often forgotten is the true meaning of Christmas, that is to say, the birth of Christ. In this vein, I would add that often forgotten is this passage from Genesis: "and so the Lord said to Adam: "I have created from your rib this woman, so you can go forth into the world and tell her that Die Hard is in fact a Christmas film, for she will need the nuances of this eighties action thriller, which will one day be critically acclaimed though initially poor performing at the box office, explained to her at length, for she will miss the crucial theme of redemption and the fact it is set on Christmas Eve."" Whilst the Old Testament may not quite have played out like this, it does feel like a passion for Die Hard at Christmas was as present in every "son of Adam" as original sin and being emasculated by snakes. I have not seen Die Hard, but being told to watch it is for me, as firm a Christmas tradition as Midnight Mass and oats left on the lawn for the reindeer. One day, however, I'm sure that the tradition of being told to watch Die Hard will be replaced with the actual watching of it, and a brief glance at the trailer reaffirms my belief that there is nothing more festive than a red shacket with padded shoulders.
Paddington
Maybe Chris Rea is living rent free in my head this year, but I firmly believe that you cannot separate the journey home for Christmas from Christmas itself. And perhaps there is nothing more symbolic of a journey than a massive London train station. Probably the film most likely to inspire what I now like to call "tears in the tiers", this one ticks all the boxes of a Christmas film: childhood nostalgia, homecoming, family, and kitchen fires that can definitely be read as a metaphor for a disastrous Christmas dinner. If you are not celebrating alone this year, the film provides the added bonus of a hearty debate to be had at the Christmas table over what is the best thing to put on your toast. If this Christmas is lonelier than perhaps you expected it to be, then take comfort from our favourite duffle coated bear and know that a home can be wherever you need to make it. If you commit to this Christmas adjacent masterpiece, I would thoroughly recommend watching the sequel - also known as "Paddington reforms the prison system and makes stripes cool again".
Dirty Dancing
Well call me Baby and fling me around a room. My favourite debate to have across December is if Dirty Dancing is Christmas adjacent or not. I am firmly in the "yes" corner (if you will pardon the pun). If the central theme of Die Hard is redemption (don’t test me, we know I haven’t seen it), which can be understood as anticipating the crucial principle of the life of Jesus, then surely the final scene of Dirty Dancing is as metaphorically heavy as Christ’s cross itself? Without taking this defence of Dirty Dancing as a Christmas film too far, I enthusiastically encourage you to rewatch the film and take note of the white costumes, and the symbolic impetus of the poses of Baby and Jonny. In short, it may be set at the height of summer, but to me there is nothing more festive than subconsciously being inspired by re-watching Patrick Swayze salsa his away across the screen, and then drunkenly attempting the final lift at least twice before New Year's Day. If you've perhaps eaten a roast potato too many and dancing, dirty or otherwise, is not for you at this time of year, then by all means sit back with some leftovers and immerse yourself in discussions of classism, consent and female reproductive rights. And if that's not your thing, then allow yourself to gaze upon the wonder of every costume that graces this sartorial and cinematic masterpiece, providing inspiration upon inspiration for New Year's outfits every time.
Edward Scissorhands
Was there just a permanent Christmassy feeling in the late eighties and early nineties? The final festive-adjacent throwback on this list is the timeless Edward Scissorhands. With enough of a Christmas backdrop to be considered at least adjacent, this film is tragic enough to strike it from any Christmas day viewing list. It's kind of Love Actually, with more hair, less happy endings, and about the same amount of painfully unrequited love and lost chances. The infamous snow sculpture scenes will have your heart melting as fast as well, a snow sculpture, as will the ever heartbroken-but-hopeful Edward. Despite it's tragic, even cynical, finale, Edward Scissorhands shares with the many of the other films on this list strong messages about kindness, compassion and inclusion. If that's too much for your cold heart this Christmas, then take comfort in the fact that every haircut undertaken provides inspiration for a "new year new me" transformation. But truly, all I want for Christmas is to look like Winona Ryder.