Article & Collages by Nana Ama

Guest-writer, and photographer, Nana explains how she took up journaling. Initially as a form of documenting experiences, preserving and reliving memories, it has developed into an important cathartic process. Below Nana shares a selection of collages that combine samples from her journal.

“this obsession grew out of a fear that I would one day forget things. By writing them down, these events would be memorialised to be later relived ”

With all this time at home I’ve unearthed my old diaries. My first recorded entry is from December 2005. I think journaling started out for me as a reaction to TV shows and movies where the practice heavily featured. Like in the movie ‘Harriet the Spy’ or all those adverts for secret diaries with invisible ink and cool ‘brother-proof’ padlocks.

I became obsessed with writing anything and everything that happened to me, including little details like what exactly I was doing and where I was at the point of writing. I feel this obsession grew out of a fear that I would one day forget things. By writing them down, these events would be memorialised to be later relived and remembered by ‘future Nana’. Even now, I recognise how my passion for photography stems from a similar desire, of wanting to preserve moments because I was scared that I would forget them if not.

“setting aside a moment to be with yourself and your thoughts, no matter how ‘unworthy’ of being written they may feel.”

However, journaling developed into much more than just preserving memories, it has become a hugely cathartic process. It has given me the space to unashamedly spill my thoughts out onto a page, then I can decide whether to look over them again or literally turn the page on the matter. My journal has assumed a role, of being a confidant to my inner thoughts, vulnerabilities and musings over the years.

I almost never leave the house without my journal or my camera, because I can feel compelled to track my thoughts or document experiences in any moment. While now, leaving the house isn’t something I or anyone can do as freely, journaling still is and it has become that much more important at a time like this.

When I often ask people, who want to take up journaling but haven’t, common replies are ‘I don’t know where to start’, ‘I don’t have the time’, ‘I’m scared someone will find it’. While these are all valid reasons, from my own experiences the benefits from setting aside a moment to be with yourself and your thoughts, no matter how ‘unworthy’ of being written they may feel, outweigh many of those initial worries.

Journaling, whether it be through a lengthy 5-page entry, or a simple one-liner can be a useful outlet, and can be surprisingly healing. It is a private activity which no one else deserves to be privy to unless you decide to share. Over the last few weeks, I have sifted through my diaries and set myself a little project of sharing some of my own entries that have made me laugh, pause and ultimately think. It truly is so insightful to see what thoughts persist, change and develop over time.

If you’re thinking about journaling, especially in these uncertain times I’d go for it. I feel journaling is invaluable, an activity forever proving itself to be useful for a time when so many of us are trying to process both internal and external chaos.

Here are some snippets from Nana’s Diary Entries:

...two days before the Brexit election results in 2016.

22/06/16.
“So I’m feeling mixed again, not only about the prospect of exams in the next days, but also at the fact that Brexit is very possible if not probable..”

...This time last year, When Nana was studying in spain on her year abroad.

19/4/19.
“Having a home to come back to makes me feel v blessed that there are people who miss me. London is amazing, so diverse and buzzing, just sometimes it gets a lot, you constantly feel you could be doing something else/ being more productive. If there is anything Spain has taught me, it’s that slower is better, and quality over quantity, and not feeling guilty for choosing yourself.”

Follow Nana’s photography page here on Instagram: @nana.amaphoto

5/6/19.
“For someone who doesn’t like to swim, why do I feel such a strong attachment to the sea, I want to get married near the sea, I want to live by the sea. I feel unbelievable levels of calm by the sea. I wish I had made more use of it/ I definitely still have time for it.”

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