Wow! This girl's sunglasses are so large they'll hide her entire face when her date drops that he is pro-leave

Article by Mia Furlong 

Today in local news, a university student has shocked friends, classmates and Tinder matches alike in an unprecedented decision to wear sunglasses so large they hide her entire face, emotions, and political angst. The sunglasses in question, thought to be of European origin, are expansive, fashionable and popular with millennials. However more conservative critics have voiced concerns that the sunglasses are "too large", "dominate the individual", and "potentially detrimental to the wearer, and her countries' economy". All commentators on the situation have noted that not wearing the sunglasses may affect our acetate aficionado's ease when holidaying abroad.

 While the size of the sunglasses has been deemed by classmates as "perhaps unnecessary, due to the dark times we are probably about to enter", the clear advantage of the potentially political pince-nez is the hiding of emotions from any onlookers, which has proved beneficial when meeting suitors who announce that, yes, whilst they are excited for dessert, they are more excited for "the massive opportunity for this country to take back democracy". This trend looks set to really take off around St. Andrews, with one student saying she has been inspired to pick up a pair of supersized shades after meeting a fellow student on Hinge, who sent her unsolicited nudes. When asked to defend his actions, he told her he was merely celebrating "freedom from the straitjacket of EU policy". 

When speaking with our source, she told us "I bought the sunglasses because I felt they gave me a very laid back, continental, chill gal vibe. I later realised that they covered my face when talking on dates, where conversation tends to revolve around Brexit. It's a great method for ensuring the date goes well - I can't get a word in edgeways usually anyway, and if my alarmed facial expressions are hidden, there's no way we will get into a fight!". Our second shaded student agreed, noting the added bonus of the dark tint to sunglasses, which "really disguises the glint of disgust when the sun hits my eyes". This student was motivated to buy the sunglasses when one Brexit-beau described her eyes as "the perfect passport blue." When asked about the practicalities of these sunglasses protecting her eyes from UV damage, she told us: "I mean, I hadn't really thought about it but I guess so. I think they'll do a good job of shielding my eyes from the new dawn everyone is waking up to".