It’s beginning to feel like a cop-out to start another article acknowledging that this has been a strange year. And yet, here we are, staring down the end of a year that if nothing else, has become unprecedented for the rise in the use of the word “unprecedented”. One thing is for certain, though, this has been a year of change. From the initial adaptation and innovation undertaken by so many as the pandemic rolled across the world, to the subtle shift that we didn’t even notice where it felt that nothing had, or would ever, change. Transformation, transition, transmutation even (if your lockdown activity was reading a thesaurus and you got really into alliteration) – as Lana Del Rey predicted, change did come, and we were here for it. Here at Haute, we have long believed that clothes do maketh the man, so it was impossible for the changes of this year to not have a profound effect on our wardrobes.

The writers of Haute began reflecting on their lockdown experiences and how their relationships to clothing, fashion and style had changed over the course of this tumultuous year. Many of these reflections were written in September, when, somewhat optimistically we all believed the end was very much in grasp. Now, as I write this on New Year’s Eve, we are hopefully closer to the end than to the start. Whilst I may be baking these words into a camembert (truly, a lockdown joy) and eating them in a matter of months, be inspired by the successes, and take comfort from the lessons, learned by our writing team, from transformative tattoos, to embracing beige.

Gabriella Soritiou

I think it’s quite tricky to concisely explain how my style has changed since lockdown. It was a very strangely paced six months where I, like the rest of the country, was constantly bouncing between wanting to buy everything I liked the look of to reward myself for managing to go another day without a breakdown, but then also...what was the point? However, I can say that I did make some self-discoveries and some fairly significant changes to my appearance since March.

Firstly, I realised that I am one of those psychotic people that find jeans comfortable. I’d had a sneaking suspicion for a while and took the extra time to really consider what this means and how it made me feel. I’ve come to terms with it now.

Secondly, I am so proud to tell everyone that I got a tattoo. Yes, it’s very small. Yes, you never see it because it’s usually covered by clothing. But I assure you- it is there and thus I am 70% cooler than when lockdown began 😎. Also, my parents got the same to match with me - I know, it is cute - to remind ourselves that even when we were annoying each other horrendously, we all did love each other that much at some point and peace would soon return to the household.

Thirdly and (though I admit it begrudgingly) more importantly than my new body art, is the shift in my attitude to what I wear. The threat of never being able to wear an item of clothing or outfit again has pushed to not mess around with ‘saving’ outfits for ‘next time’. Time is precious these days, as are social interactions. So, if I want to wear that particular thing - I’m gonna do it TODAY - even if the only people seeing it are the fabulous front-line workers of Pret. If I want to buy that thing - I’m gonna do it because do you know what? It can always be sent back if it’s rubbish! There is no time like the present, literally. So, I think I can say that I’m braver and better at listening to what I want in the moment and have acquired some really great clothes because of it.

Oh and my Dr Marten Jadons have never felt more uncomfortable.

Tom Kennedy

Upon arriving back to the States, my quarantine started off somewhat conservative. In fact, I didn’t buy a single non-essential item for the first two months: no shoes, no jeans, no sunglasses, not even a cup of coffee from a café that wasn’t my own kitchen. However, the month of May brought out the splurge urge that I had been suppressing for so long. It was the type of splurge that was untamed; it was relentless; and it was crazy expensive. I could not stop. Soon, I began downloading department store apps for the feeble 10% discount that was given away to all first-time downloaders.

In short…I was unstoppable.

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the time of year), I had only bought clothing for fall and beyond. I was certainly not prepared for summer ’20. Then, all of a sudden, mid-August rolled around.

After a two-week quarantine in which I did not once change my pair of shorts (sorry hygienic readers), I was locked and loaded for all of St. Andrews to feast their eyes on fresh-clothed Tom.

Though when I was unpacking, I was in for a surprise.

As I unloaded my overstuffed suitcase, I began to pull out a seemingly endless supply of beige/light brown variety of button-down shirts. Every time I reached into my cargo, I pulled out another shirt of the same kind.

I soon accepted that perhaps my look this year would be the style that I dreaded most: the over-sized Yeezy worn brown. And you know what?

…I loved it.

Before I even realized it, I felt naked when I wasn’t wearing one of my dystopian-brown garments. It complemented everything I wore. A beige shirt and Docs? A grunge masterpiece. A beige shirt and parachute pants? A skater look that radiates with my small-squared sunglasses. A beige shirt and anything? Tom Kennedy.

Even now, I’m still not tired of this look. In fact, I may even continue to wear this look until March 2021 at the earliest. Who knows when the end of the beige-shirt-Tom era will end? Maybe I’ll grow out of it in a week, or maybe I’ll keep this up until I hit the LinkedIn chapter of life.

Stay tuned, St. Andrews.

Helen Jorgenson

As I was unpacking clothes I had left in storage, I found countless oversized sweaters in muted tones that I loved before quarantine. However, after six months of quarantine they no longer had a place in my wardrobe. In those months, I became much more confident with my body image and my newfound confidence translated to my wardrobe. Before quarantine, I felt like I had wear baggy sweaters and tops because I didn’t have the right body to wear more form-fitting clothing. It was easy just to wear oversized sweaters and stick to what I was comfortable with (not that there is anything wrong with wearing clothes you are comfortable with, but in this case it very much limited my style). Over the course of quarantine, I developed a much healthier body image but I don’t really know what triggered my new mindset. I have started to wear more bright colours rather than muted tones. I am more comfortable with wearing fitted clothes that defined my body rather than hiding underneath fabric. I don’t feel the need to stick to a certain style just because it might suit my body type. If I feel like dressing casually, I will wear leggings and a sweatshirt; if I want to look more put together, I will wear a blouse and trousers.

Barbara Malone

While quarantine might not have been great for my social life, this pandemic has given me plenty of time to reinvent my fashion style. Ever since I was fourteen, I have paid especially close attention to the relation between style and self-esteem. Being somewhat socially awkward, I wanted my clothes to attract attention, successfully forming friendships with people with similar interests. I ended up only wearing plain sweaters and jeans with maybe a few rips in them (not that there's anything wrong with that! It just wasn't me) till the end of Freshers year at St Andrews. I had this idea bolted into my mind that you must put on a show to get friends and that affected my personality and my style.

Last semester’s quarantine was truly a game-changer for me. I realized being stuck at home with no-one but my parents to spend time with, you have to take care of yourself and make sure your own energy is positive before you can even consider attracting the best possible friends. For me, working towards a positive mindset meant completely switching up my fashion style. Prior to quarantine, the most adventurous I'd been with my style was a vintage jack, a few graphic t-shirts, and six ear piercings. I ended up selling and donating at least 60% of my clothes!

I spent the spring organizing and creating my dream style. I purchased extremely baggy and painted jeans, sweatshirts that had the coolest and most abstract designs, and the funkiest trousers on the market. I also got more graphic t-shirts than anyone could ever need. I even dyed my hair pink and orange, upped my piercing count to twelve, and got my dream tattoo. Some of my favorite brands I found along this journey were Boyslie, skidznyc, TAKA original, and loads of brands that make one-on-one designs.

Being back at St Andrews, I’m so grateful I made this change. Even though there are few chances to meet new people now, every time I can show them my best self. That is because in every outfit I wear, I feel confident and happy with who I am. So, don’t wait until a global pandemic to feel confident in yourself. The sooner you dress the way you desire, the sooner you can bring positivity into your life

Kimberly Nicol

2020 has without a doubt - as I imagine is the same for many of you reading this - been one of the most challenging, emotional, and altering years of my life. Not only has so much around me changed, but I watched myself change drastically in so many ways, and I find myself still slowly (albeit very messily) healing from the vastness of it all.

Everyone experienced lockdown differently, for me personally, and without meaning to put us on too much of a down note, it was 3 months of what felt like never ending heartbreak and loss. Due to this, I honestly felt challenged to look back on lockdown and seek out where my relationship to fashion came through amongst all of this. It wasn’t something that had much of my attention at the time, but regardless, as I look at who I was and how I portrayed myself back in March compared to today, I’m looking at two very different people.

Your style is a way to express yourself, and it correlates so closely with how you feel towards who you are. I formed a new and strong relationship with myself in the process of getting up off the floor that it felt 2020 had me chained to, and in doing so, I watched the relationship with my style flourish. I feel so much more confident in who I am and it shines through in my fashion choices. I wear less makeup, I dress in a way that is so much more true to my own style, and I’ve rediscovered aspects of myself that were buried under for so long. Don’t get me wrong, not all of my choices have been positive. You can’t have a crisis and NOT chop your hair and cut yourself a fringe… Let’s just be thankful for Jamaican Black Castor oil (godsend).

So, while 2020 definitely brought great challenges, a positive came through in my new found confidence and style (for the most part). I have never felt so purely myself in a long time, and even while I’m still figuring out exactly who that is, I’m so grateful for the change that was brought along with all of the bad stuff.

Mia Foale

I would love to be sitting here, writing that almost a year of lockdowns provoked a profound shift in my shopping habits, that I was visited by three ghosts that dispelled me of my high-street wearing, late capitalist babygurrrl ways. Sadly, I am sat with the same Essie chipped nails, Zara black turtleneck, and full face of Fenty and Glossier, that I was last December thirty-first. Did I have a month where I sort of renounced make up? Why not. Did I abandon this the second we could meet with a single person outside of our house? Of course. It would be remiss, however, to pretend that this year hasn’t impacted my shopping habits, like it has everything else. What this year has afforded was time – relentless, limitless time, time that demanded to be filled. And again, whilst I would love to say that this time got filled with something worthwhile, I spent a lot of this time searching and scrolling, spending hours praying for an Ebay win, saving Friends outfits as inspiration on Instagram, and compiling lists of where the best leather jackets can be found on the Continent. One thing this has taught me is how, pre-pandemic, many (not all, but more than I would care to admit) of my purchases were quick and careless. I cannot pretend that everything bought this year has been sustainable, or with a transparent production chain (but honestly, well done you if you have managed to do this), each purchase has been considerably more thoughtful, researched, and prioritised as something I want to wear forever. The implications of this year for the fashion industry have been significant, from exposed production practices to the once private, now very public, indecent actions of designers and casting agents alike. With this in mind, the necessity to purchase more carefully and responsibly is an urgent priority for the new year. Philip Green might finally disappear, but what does this mean for a former high street honey’s wardrobe? I’m not quite sure, but I’m excited to spend the next lockdown finding out.

How’s Life in Lockdown? Haute Writers Reflect on 2020